Space Bag Magic

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Funny stuff

My sister Emily sent this to me and I was dying of laughter! It's so funny. I don't know where she got it from, but the subject of the email was something about random thoughts from 25-35 year olds. I enjoyed it and think we can all relate with at least one of these situations.

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dirt bag from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

-Bad decisions make good stories

-Is it just me or do high school girls get younger & younger and wear less & less every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this.. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fattie before dinner.

The end.

That is some funny stuff!

Deer Whisperer

I owe the title of this post to my sister, Emily.
A little background info is necessary to truly appreciate the experience I am going to share.

A couple of years ago, we (Emily and her fam, my friend Crystal who is more like a sister, and my mom) were staying at my grandma's house in Ephraim for the Scandinavian festival. My grandma was sick and in the hospital at the time so we were going back and forth between Nephi and Ephraim quite a few times that weekend. It was pretty late at night and Crystal and I were in the mini van driving super carefully through the canyon and watching for deer. We were doing great and right outside of the canyon, a deer comes out of the brush and runs into the side of the van! We were traumatized, but the deer ran off and there was only a small dent in the van. That was my first experience involving a large animal while driving.

+

= a traumatized Jenny.

Back to my recent experience...

On Friday morning, I was driving along Foothill Boulevard. For those who don't live in the area, it is a main street between the U of U and I-215, so it's super busy the majority of the time.
I'm driving along and not even being distracted and off to the right I see a large thing coming toward my car. Right as it runs INTO the side of my car, I realize it's a deer. In the middle of Foothill Boulevard. Just hanging out and following me.

I was obviously totally freaked out, but kept driving. What else do you do? The deer ran over to the sidewalk and started running along that. When I looked in my rearview mirror to see if anyone else experienced the deer like I did, I saw it running across all 6 lanes of Foothill.

My first phone call about the experience was to Crystal since she was with me the last time a deer hit me. Seriously. Who does this happen to?! I then proceedto tell the story to my family and finally Jeff when he was available to chat for a minute. Everyone was laughing hysterically (except Jeff...he did find it very humorous though) and said it's something that would only happen to me.

+


=

I didn't report a claim to my insurance because February was a rough and expensive month for us and Jeff's car (he had a few mishaps...) and it's not like the deer has insurance to pay for the damage. So, I have a really dented car and it's ugly, but I'll just deal with it for now. I don't know why these deer insist on coming to me. I don't even really care for the dumb things.

Deer have officially been moved to my list of stupid animals that I really don't like. Pigeons are number one. Deer are now number two.

Thank goodness the deer was a girl and didn't have any antlers because it hit me hard and those things would have gone through the window. I'm also really thankful that I didn't get hurt and that no other cars were involved in my deer whisperer experience. FYI: they should put deer crossing signs on Foothill Blvd.

You can't make this stuff up. I wish I could though.

Maddie's Birthday

Jeff made this!!

Sunday was Maddie's birthday. She turned 5. We had a bbq at Emily's. It was actually a combined birthday for Mads and Ben. When you're birthday is combined with a kid's, the adult will always get the shaft. I feel you Ben.

The John Dansie band was there to sing for the Mads. The leader is the husband of Maddie's pre-school teacher. She is great and the band was great. The music was fun and the guys were really great. They also created and designed the Maddie Shirt for the Hydrocephalus Walk. Check out their website: thejondansieband.com



So cute:



He's a natural:

I Rock!

By Jeff:
Maddie had her 5th birthday on Sunday. It was fun. Check out the card I made:

The Videos

Thank goodness for Picasa 3! It allows you to crop videos so they are under the 100 mb limit. I still need a good, free, way to reduce the size, but that's for another time...

Here are the videos of Maddie and Sam that i wanted to post before (sorry for the shakes):

Maddie:

And Sam:

I Rock!!!

Lazy Days

Jeff and I decided to stay home and just hang out today. It's so great! We slept in and cleaned up a little. It's 2 p.m. and neither of us have gotten ready for the day or anything. I love lazy days! The plan for the rest of the day is probably watching movies and/or reading. Life is good.

Rockstar baseball player

First of all, Jeff forgot to put this picture on his post. I think it's hilarious. Jeff put his bandanna on because he was sweating so Maddie had to be cool and wear a bandanna like him.

Maddie is pretty much the coolest kid ever. She's the poster child for the new adaptive baseball field that was built in West Jordan. They had the dedication of it on Wednesday evening and Mads threw the first pitch. I'm such a proud auntie!! I'm gonna be psychotic with my own children. I've warned Jeff, though.

Go to this link. Scroll down to the videos and find the one that says "Athletes of all abilities given adaptive baseball field in West Jordan" and watch Maddie throw the first pitch. She's so great. Ignore me though. Just watch the cute kiddos.

(Maddie loved the Bee at first and chased him down. Later on, she HATED the Bee and totally shunned him...)

It's just an amazing experience for all these kids in wheelchairs and with other developmental disabilities to have a place where they can go and experience just being a kid and not have to be "different" from everyone because of things they have no control over. The Rotary Club men who are probably all my dad's age or older are absolutely in love with Maddie and she was a little celebrity. I had a blast being her "buddy" on the field. Emily couldn't get out of work, but we recorded it and took lots of pictures! I won't even attempt to upload the videos, but here are some great pics of our fun night.

Thanks to Jeff for keeping Sam occupied all night! He was great to run around with a toddler so I could be a ridiculously proud auntie for Maddie. Mads and Sam are like our surrogate children. I get fiercely protective of these little guys. I already feel bad for our future children.

Fun with Kids

This post caused so much anger in me and my wife. I took several very cute and very funny videos of the kids this day. Sadly the videos would never upload (they were probably too big and we lack the necessary software to reduce the size).

So Sam and the Mads came over on Saturday so their parents could enjoy a day on the town. Jenny was in the shower still, so as soon as Sam walked through the door, he ran right past me, of course, and went looking for Jenny. Luckily she came out soon, else we would have had a break down.

After watching some Sponge Bob, Mads had to play with some shoes. Sam loved it too.

And of course, no time with Jeff and Jenny would be complete without playing house. Mads was the mom, Sam the dad, I was the son and Jenny was the sister. Why she wasn't the daughter the world will never know. Jenny, I mean Sister, and I both had broken legs and we had to go get our pictures taken (x-rays).

This was Sam's favorite time as well, shoes can be so interesting and yet so challenging at the same time.

[Insert video number #1: Halarious video of Sam getting stuck in a sandal while Maddie played verbal house while hiding in the closet. You'll just have to immagine it.]

After Sam awoke from his nap (check out his hair), we had to play outside. Sam likes to observe his surroundings before venturing out to the playground.

Maddie's favorite toy is the rocket ship.

[This was a video of Mads sitting on a rocket ship (modeled from the space shuttles); it's one of those bouncy things. Maddie fervently insisted that she was never coming back despite my deep desires that she return because I would miss her. The video ends with us having an arugment as to weather or not she sould be licking the handle bars. I pull one of those cartoon switch-aroos where I say "no", she says "yes" and we go back and forth for a while until I switch to "yes", she falls for it and starts saying "no, you shouldn't be licking the handlebars".]

My favorite part is when the parents came strolling in...

[This really wasn't my favorite part, but It's funny]

Sam takes off with Jenny in tow

And just when they are about to have a happy reunion...

Sam makes a b-line for a ball. Ah, to be young...

Catchin' up

Jeff LOVES Harry Potter. LOVES it. So, here we are at the new movie back in July. Jeff was so excited to see it and got his expectations way too high from what people said about it. I really liked the movie. He was disappointed. Poor guy.

The next week we went to the Vernal temple. We just did a day trip... 3 hours there and 3 more hours back. It was kinda brutal being in the car. I just get to the point where I'm totally done with the day. Jeff is very patient with me. We forgot to take the camera so we stopped at a Walgreen's and got this awesome steal for only $4.19. It was on clearance. When we got to the temple, we had to check it. Nothing is more manly than Jeff handing the temple worker a pink Disney princess camera and writing his name on the paper for it. We'll post the pictures from this when we get them back.

After Vernal, we went to the Bees game for the 24th of July. I love Utah holidays. Seriously great. We couldn't find our actual camera, so we finished off our great disposable one at the game. It was fun and I love fireworks.
The day after that, we had a game night with our friends. Tara was in town for the Bees game so we played Quiddler with Tara, her sister Kayleigh, and the Jensen's. We love these people!

Here are the Jensen's. They were in the branch presidency where Jeff and I met. They're hilarious and so fun to hang out with.

A few more Snowbird pictures

This was the end of our little hike on the paved trail. The kids loved it. My mom took at least a million pictures.

Here is Maddie on the trail. She was a little stubborn about going up the slight incline.

Here I am with Crystal (my friend since forever). I know, we're looking great without showers and after sweating all day.

Snowbird

A little late, but here are a lot of pictures from our week at Snowbird (end of June to the 4th of July).

Here are a few reasons I LOVE being up there!

Sam liked the rocks and wood chips more than the playground. Nature is cool.

Mandy and me. I don't know how we got sparkly eyes, but I like it.

My Maddie Mooshka broke her leg so she didn't get to do a whole lot of playing. Poor kid was so exhausted and fell asleep like this:

These are the swings at the all abilities playground they have. Sam kinda liked them. Maddie loved them. Funny thing about them making the playground for "all abilities" is that they put wood chips down and wheelchairs don't really roll through wood chips. Seriously? Did they not think that through? At least the swings are cool.

Best husband ever with 2 cute kiddos. He's going to be such a great dad!

Tetherball, anyone?

Here we are riding the Tram. I love this guy!

The view at the top of the tram...and yes, that is snow at the end of June!

We had a great time and were also really happy to be home again! Thanks for the fun week fam!

Man Date

Jeff and his BFF Dave had their first man date this evening. I chaperoned. I'm nice like that. Dave came over (Mandy was sick and couldn't come) and we ate spaghetti and chatted. The boys planned out building projects and the fact that they would like to have a big workshop. They couldn't have a workshop with anyone else, right?
When they're together I can't help but think of the song, "Reunited..." I don't know the rest of the words but it's that really cheesey '80s song. Dave is leaving to go back east for 4 months. He leaves the end of this month. The bro-mance will have to be rekindled in December.